Published on March 24, 2004 By limeandlimpid In Misc
Remember riding the bus home the first day of kindergarten when nothing looked familiar,and you had that horrible,sickening feeling that you got on the wrong bus? That's how I feel every morning when I wake up. Nothing about this life seems familiar. In fact, quite the opposite. Nothing is how I think or feel it 's supposed to be. Somehow I got on the wrong bus.

Try as I might to fit in and alter my views to what seem to be the norm on this odd little planet, my soul refuses to allow it. I fail miserably in understanding why people do what they do. I think my thought processes must be different. I've got a ticket for a different bus.

I frequently have dreams of the same nature. I'm on the wrong bus, or plane, or I get off at the wrong stop. Sometimes I dream I'm standing in a slow moving line for what seems like an eternity only to find out when I reach the counter that I've been in the wrong line the entire time.

I've felt this way my whole life. Other than a physical resemblance to my mother, I couldn't be less like any of my family. Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, we share no common ground. I associate with them because we are related by blood, but the absolute lack of similiar values, interests, and the inability to carry on intelligent conversation makes time spent with them a trial. And furthers my belief that I'm on the wrong bus.

I don't understand people in general. I remember when I was quite young I would often wonder if people were really that stupid or was i just not understanding, And I still think people are really stupid. Read the paper, watch TV, listen to the radio, people watch at the mall. One ridiculous event after the other.

It's a shame that in order to function and fit into this ridiculous world I find that I, myself, have to do and say things that make no real sense to me. That makes me one of the stupid people. Though I do try not to do more stupid things than are absolutely necessary to slip under the radar. I suppose I've gotten pretty good at pretending I'm on the right bus.

Now....., if I could only figure out how to get off.



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