Emotional Responses

Published on March 26, 2004 By limeandlimpid In Misc

So, after witnessing yet another uncomfortable scene, my friend said "you must really hate him". And I replied "No, I really don't feel anything for him at all". And it's the truth. I've never hated anyone. I don't believe I've ever felt what HATE feels like. I can't even remember feeling anything that intense. HATE is intense isn't it?

People have wronged me, treated me shamefully, and even hurt me physically, and I can't honestly say I hate any of them. I just don't think about them .Vindictiveness and revenge seem like an awful waste of energy and sooo negative. And I must say I truly believe the universe gives back.....I've seen it time and time again.

When it seems like every day some major horrible event on this planet is seeded by HATE, it's roots reaching all of us at some point, I wonder if my lack of experience with the emotion is why the atrocious acts make no sense to me. Understanding why people justify these terrible things means I have to understand the motive behind the actions. It always seems to be HATE, in one form or another. Having never felt HATE, am I doomed to never understanding?

Maybe I'm emotionally deficient. Having never HATED, one could wonder if I've ever LOVED. I've felt what I believe to be LOVE, but I'm not sure it's the same feeling as other people have. I see people behave as if LOVE is possession. Something they have. An ownership of sorts. Once you LOVE someone they are yours. The whole "you belong to me" of song, and cinema,and book. LOVE, for me, isn't like that. LOVING is letting go. Allowing the object of my LOVE to be who they were meant to be and do what they were meant to do. It means wishing those I LOVE only the best and wanting their happiness even if their paths take them in a different
direction than mine.

LOVE isn't an intense emotion for me either. It's a warm,sweet, softly bubbling joy in my soul. A happy, cosmically connected feeling.(Desire and Lust, however, are another story).

Do you think LOVE is something we all have inside and can give to those we wish to bestow it on, or is LOVE something inside us that needs other people to inspire us to give? Do we control LOVE or does LOVE control us?

Comments

Sherye Hanson

on Mar 26, 2004

I wish that I wasn't so intense. But I am. I have felt hatred. But I know that intensity always carries with it something that is not good. On the other hand, I wonder if those who form movements such as MADD would have done it without a lot of intense emotion. As a mother, I cannot stand to see my children suffer. Even worse is to consider them suffering at the hands of another person. You are fortunate not to feel intensely, but I wonder if there isn't a place for intense emotion.

limeandlimpid

on Mar 26, 2004

There's nothing wrong with intensity if it used in a constructive, beneficial way. I, too ,am a mother and Iove my kids dearly, but I don't and never have considered them "mine". They are God's children and I have been blessed with the enormous task of raising them to adulthood. And in that task I have been fortunate that they haven't been faced with suffering or harm of a brutal or extreme nature. (If ever they are, maybe I shall discover hatred). But some "suffering" must be endured to make them strong, compassionate, and empathetic (is that a word?) adults. It's a matter of degree. Not inviting everyone in the class to a birthday party, as opposed to physical or mental abuse. I've seen mothers get very, very intense when their kid wasn't invited to a party. That kind of intensity should be reserved for the latter situation.

De

Dan Kaschel

on Mar 26, 2004

I think that the difference between dislike and hatred is that hatred hurts you more than them. It eats away at you like (hate to be cliche, but..) a cancer. If you're the kind of person who would try drugs just to be able to relate, find somebody to hate; otherwise, you're not missing anything.

~Dan

limeandlimpid

on Mar 26, 2004

After reading other posts, I'm thinking maybe its just that we so overuse some words that their true meaning becomes diluted. People seem to need to exaggerate most everything, including depth of feeling. Hate is such a strong, heinous,dispicable word. To use it to describe feelings for ordinary everyday things dilutes it's power, bringing it to the level of dislike. People use love the same way....Love 'ya....Love to ....Love it ......when what's really meant is like. HAha, it just occurred to me that like has also gotten a new use .....It's like used now like an inhale of like breath in every like sentence that like comes out of my like teenager's like mouth.

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