Events of the last two years have led to some serious thinking on my part. I love my children. I would gladly give my life for either of them. But I don't want, for any reason, under any circumstances, for either of them to give up their lives for me. Not Ever. No matter how elderly, feeble or incapacitated I become, I NEVER want my kids to have to choose between my needs and the needs of their children ( if they should choose to have children ) or spouses. I wish there was some legal ...
Ever wonder what it would be like to have one day to do only that which you wanted to do? 24 hours where every decision, every action was based on how you felt, what you wanted, only you. I do. Imagine a whole lifetime like that. Living your life free of the demands of others. Doing things ( or not doing things), not because you have to, someone wants you to, you need to, or you're expected to, but because you truly want to. I'm so tired of living my days doing things I don...
I just saw a TV interview with the mother of a national guardsman from PA who was recently killed in Iraq. She and her family are extremely anti-war and participated in peace rallys and marches. She said, and I quote," He just joined the Guard to supplement his income." Is this for real? Does anyone actually join the armed services and not know that at any time they may be called to active duty? Especially in this day and age? Are they naive or am I? Oh, yeah, and then there's the woman wh...
The feel and smell of warm fur and sunshine when I hug my two best friends........made especially delightful after endless days of muddy paws and eau de wet dog. Simple pleasures are surely the best.
I miss the kind of friendships I had as a kid. The just hang out, talk all sorts of shit, share a slice of pizza, and sneak into a movie kind of friendships. All that was required was to show up and be willing to participate in whatever the day might bring. My company was price enough. Now the price is attending various "home parties" (and usually buying something I neither need nor want), free babysitting services, no interest loans, buying assorted wrapping paper, (or candy, greeting ...
Spent the morning sorting through boxes of old photos. (Part of my Spring dejunking ritual). I found something that surprised me. A stack of letters from when I was in college. I thought I'd gotten rid of them long ago. But, here they are, a crack in the window of the past, testing my resolve to not peer through that particular window ever again. We were friends. High school friends. Not that I didn't want to be more. I'd had a crush on him the moment I saw him freshman year. But, I wasn't...
It was brought to my attention that music plays in my house all day long. Even when the TV's on in the evening, there's music playing elsewhere in the house. I love music. All kinds of music. And if there's no music playing externally, it's playing in my head. So I was wondering..... 1.Driving in the car with the radio on, what makes you reach over and turn up the volume? 2.Is it the lyrics or the melody that attracts you more? 3.Do you believe we can alter our emotions or mood just...
When we first moved into our new home, my five year old would run next door everytime she saw the elderly gent who lived there working in his garden. He never seemed to mind and the two would chatter away. One day I said to his wife "I hope she doesn't drive him crazy with all her questions" and she responded "Heavens no, she's come to the right place ....He's got all the answers". Wish I knew someone with all the answers. Sure have a lot of questions. Maybe all the collective wisdom of Jo...
So, after witnessing yet another uncomfortable scene, my friend said "you must really hate him". And I replied "No, I really don't feel anything for him at all". And it's the truth. I've never hated anyone. I don't believe I've ever felt what HATE feels like. I can't even remember feeling anything that intense. HATE is intense isn't it? People have wronged me, treated me shamefully, and even hurt me physically, and I can't honestly say I hate any of them. I just don't think about them ...
Remember riding the bus home the first day of kindergarten when nothing looked familiar,and you had that horrible,sickening feeling that you got on the wrong bus? That's how I feel every morning when I wake up. Nothing about this life seems familiar. In fact, quite the opposite. Nothing is how I think or feel it 's supposed to be. Somehow I got on the wrong bus. Try as I might to fit in and alter my views to what seem to be the norm on this odd little planet, my soul refuses to allow it. ...
My Life.....Not What I Would've Asked For....More Than I Deserve I really think I'm here by mistake. I know , the universe doesn't make mistakes and we're all here for a purpose and all that, but....I still think there's been some kind of mistake. A glitch in the cosmic machine. I was supposed to go somewhere else. Some other universe,or galaxy, or astral plane, God...anywhere but here. This world, this planet, the sea of humanity that calls it home, falls frighteningly short of anythi...